But in the past decade or so, the light bulb finally went on. Someone thought ‘Wait a second… men like pleasure too. (duh!) Let's make some fun and sexy toys for men too!' Okay, not sure what the actual thought process was, but I'm sure it went something like that. Point being, men finally have an arsenal of arousing toys on the market with which to make them roar with joy. Literally.
Before buying my very first blowjob machine, I had too many questions which needed answering. Will a blowjob machine feel anything like the real deal? Are they really worth all this money? What if the mailman sees my package and calls me a loser??? I made this blog post to answer all these questions I myself had at one point, and to show you the best blowjob machines in my collection. The world of blowjob simulators is an amazing one, so don’t be afraid of trying something new and exciting, even if it seems strange at first.
Self pleasure can be enjoyed at any time with the inexpensive and feature rich Tenga Eggs. Users of the Egg peel off the outer layer, reminiscent of a hard boiled egg, and then crack the shell open to reveal a cup shaped like a masturbation sleeve. This sleeve provides multiple unique internal patterns and features, providing different strokes for each egg. While intended to be used for a single session, the lifespan of a Tenga Egg can be increased by utilizing a condom with use and then performing a thorough but careful cleaning.
Use this high-tech toy for a more sophisticated approach to prostate stimulation. The Hugo features SenseMotion technology with two different patterns to explore, which you won't have to worry about adjusting manually thanks to its handy remote control. Use Hugo solo, or hand the remote over to your partner to have her join in on the fun. Plus, it charges via USB plug, so you'll never have to worry about running out of batteries.
Now, the Fleshlight STU is not a hands-free model, so don’t get it twisted. You will have to put in some work to enjoy its potent practicality. However, the sleeve’s superbly textured lining is designed to make your work day short and sweet. Knock one out of the park before the game starts and watch yourself become king of the ring. We don’t suggest using this if you have heart problems though, because it will elevate your blood pressure (in the best way possible, of course).
- I am including a bunch of extra silicon bands used to attach the sextoy to the robot arms, as these can wear out after 10-20 hours of use, and can be replaced in 30 seconds with no tools. This is the only part that needs to be replaced once in a while if needed, just like any machine, there are consumable parts, in this case it's a silicon band, these are very cheap and available everywhere.
These days, for less than $40, modern men can afford little more than an unenthusiastic hand job from a dirty hooker in a dark alley. Well, that was true until now. The frugal folks at Fleshlight have developed a new toy that’s both affluent and affordable – the Fleshkins Blue Ice. It is a compact, semi-transparent alternative to the large and in-charge toys that are typical of the brand – one that lets you take control of your pole in numerous ways. Find a cheap slut who can do all that and I’ll shut the fuck up.
The Lovehoney Desire Prostate Massager is wonderful remote-controlled prostate tickler. A prostate massager is similar to a butt plug. It is designed with an ergonomic shape that is perfect to stimulate the prostate. It comes with a ton of wonderful features and is totally waterproof. Don’t get concerned about the remote control aspect being weak. It is a powerful toy and the remote has a 24-foot range, so it can be used by a partner from across the room if desired.
Solo you can pair it with music and get off to your favorite beats. You can also pair it with your smart phone and use your phone as a controller. Or you can use it without connecting to anything, and using the buttons on the base of the toy. If you wish to use it with another person you can pair it with the Nora or have your partner play with the remote.
One of the advantages to living in modern society is that our technological advancements have actually made it a reality to get a robotic blowjob. With a wide variety of blowjob machines available, it is possible to get sucked all day, every day (even though this really might be a bit much). The sensations are as realistic as having somebody else do it for you, but without the nuisance of them either choking on your dick before you get off, or choking on your cum after.
No roundup would be complete without a budget minded option. Fifi is the quintessential underdog in this race, but holds its own quite well. With affordability, compatibility and portability in mind, Fifi is a fantastic option. No, it doesn’t feel as good as a Fleshlight or Tenga product. But it excels for a few other reasons. Read the entire Fifi review, right here.
Last but not least, the big P word… I know we would all like to go for a sex doll priced at 7k, but if we don’t have the money then we’re not going to buy one, are we…? Make sure you don’t break the bank on your purchase. But again, don’t try and pinch pennies too much as it could take away from the quality or sensation you may have. This may even lead to paying more, even though you think you are paying less.
Sleeves come in 3 sizes - Have you ever purchased a male sex toy in the past, and you try to fill it up with your one-eyed monster just to find that it's like putting a square peg in a round hole? You're just too big? Okay, I haven't had that happen (some guys have though I imagine) - but I have had the opposite - I barely fill it up and of course then the sensations just aren't there. The Autoblow 2+ comes with three different sleeve sizes so you're sure to get the tight fit that you need for top level pleasure.
For the guys out there who want some more excitement, more technology, or just more everything, you have this category of futuristic sex toys. These toys tie in science and technology to pleasure men in ways that weren’t available even a few years ago. This is the stuff you hoped would be around in the future when you daydreamed as a young, horny, pre-pubescent teen.
More like a less high-end version of a Fleshlight manual masturbator, the FleshJack is still a terrific choice for men who want to spice things up in the bedroom (either with a partner or all alone). Featuring a hyper-realistic flesh-like material and designed to look just as inconspicuous as its competition, this little number is a sound investment for those who want to play the field a bit.
I was pleasantly surprised, and happy I found it after using it a few times. This one doesn’t have a hard case. It’s kinda like a long rubber tube, with a front that looks remarkably like a real snatch. This is made from a very soft TPE, not silicone. It’s also latex-free, which is a good option for guys with certain sensitivities. Read our review of the Uterus.
Expertly made sex toys for men are hard to come by unless you do your homework, and we’re not big fans of that shit. So, once we discover a dick pleaser that doesn’t disappoint, it quickly goes on the list. Most sex toys are a dime a dozen, but not these sons of bitches. We’re not even kidding when we say that the following 10 toys are far superior to their DIY counterparts in erotic effectiveness, convenience, ease of care, and (of course) awesomeness.
Last but certainly not least is the infamous Cobra Libre II, by far the best corona stimulation machine on the market. With or without a partner, this bad boy slithers and coils around the head of your penis like a snake, winding and grinding until it achieves success. Virtually weightless, durably made, and completely wireless, this high-grade sex toy is one of the most popular products on the market today.
The Wave might look similar to the Billy — they’re made by the same company — but it has a lot more going on under the hood. The Wave is one of the most high-tech prostate toys around, and a favorite of Museum of Sex Store buyer Kit Richardson, who praises its “dual-motor design.” It has an internal arm that moves in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the prostate, and a “strong vibrating external arm for optimal perineum stimulation.”
Justina Victoria, men’s sex coach and founder of the Sexual Mastery Center, likes the Lelo Billy. “I think [it’s] a bit less less intimidating than other prostate stimulators,“ says Victoria, so it’s a good choice for beginners or anyone just starting to explore. “I would use it as a way to help you feel into parts of your body that you may never have connected to or felt sensation in.”
When our dicks need a break, we like to reach for a good prostate massager to mix things up a bit. We tried the Nexus Revo 2 and, well, we like the fact that it comes with an independently rotating head that automatically responds to body movement. It can be worn discretely or during intercourse by any man who appreciates his asshole being tickled. We say don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
A. Yes, the software is very easy to use (No software with version 2). The actual robot is also easy to use and set up. The key to this device is the positioning that the stand/mount offers. Since the robotic part of the machine has a limited range of movement, it needs to be placed in the right spot so it can use its full range of motion on your penis. With the included stand/mount, you can adjust it to any position and angle to get it in the perfect spot in relation to your penis, and by tilting it a tiny bit, it applies pressure and motion to different parts of your penis, the smallest adjustment can really change the sensation alot. I include some tips to get the most out of your new robot sex machine, in fact the more you use it (practice makes perfect), the better it will become as you find out what positions and strokes you like the best.
Unlike other masturbators, the Autoblow 2+ does not use batteries. Plugged directly to an electrical outlet, you get to enjoy full power every time. You can bet there will be no interruption mid-stream or just as you're getting to the most exciting part, which is likely to happen with battery-operated pleasure devices. With this much power, expect non-stop enjoyment. You should know that the all-metal motor is rated to last up to more than 500 hours of use. But of course, the main concern will be if YOU can keep up with IT.
“I’ve tried all kinds of lubes, but I keep coming back to this one. It tingles enough to give you a sensation down there, but not so much that it becomes uncomfortable. The little beads pop and burst on contact, which was cool for both me and my boyfriend. They’re easy to use, and easy to clean up. I like that you don’t have to unscrew the top, also. (It just pops up.) I’ll definitely keep buying this one.”
Depending on what gets you off, you will pick the aesthetics that best suit you. If you are into some freaky stuff, don’t skip on the weirder models and get something you will be proud to call your own! If you are looking for something that feels very realistic, for stamina training or even just for pleasure, then look for masturbators that suit your needs!
But if you're anything like me, you're probably a little skeptical. I know, I know… a blowjob MACHINE that feels just like a real mouth hoovering away? It seems far-fetched. Which is why I invite you take a look at the Autoblow 2+ promotional video from their product site - a comedic yet information introduction to the machine that has made headlines around the world for its innovative technology and incredible sensations.
A. The terms and conditions are like all products of this nature, this is sold as A NOVELTY TOY ONLY, use at your own risk. I am not responsible for anything. That being said, I will stand by my robot, if there is a problem, I will try to fix it, through email, or even send me back the robot unit (not the fleshlight or stand) and I will repair it (may be cost involved with repair). My own machine has over 100 hours on it with all the original parts, so I do not expect anyone to have a problem, I test each robots function (on a bench, testing the robotics) before shipping.
This automatic robotic mouth is a mainstay on the modern market. It features two textured rings that slide up and down the shaft of your penis, gently producing a sucking sensation at the same time. It requires absolutely no manual interaction whatsoever – for the laziest sexual gluttons among us. And best of all, it’s a reproduction of the original AutoBlow that was so fucking fantastic it sold out repeatedly. Pack your mate’s bags, gentlemen. BJs just came without a gag reflex.
Of course, the elephant in the room: price. We are well aware that, if possible, we would all own a $10,000 sex doll. However, we don’t all have the money for that. Ensure that you aren’t going to break the bank on your purchase. But, you should also not be a penny pincher with this purchase decision. This might detract from the sensations or quality of your male masturbator of choice.